My whole pre-Bodyverse life I was asking myself these questions:
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I just be normal as everyone else?“
“Why can’t I just try hard enough and heal my symptoms, and just be done with them already?”
And then later on, when I started doing healing work, my old friend shame knocked on the door: “What kind of a healer are you if you still have all these symptoms? How can you possibly hold healing space for anyone else?”
And that was not just me.
Somewhere along the way “Healing“ became a substitute word for “fixing“.
Somewhere along the way “Healing“ became a performance act.
Somewhere along the way it became your personal responsibility to take care of your trauma (= release it, make it go away).
I don’t know how about you, but this clinical paradigm of stripping yourself off your aliveness doesn’t feel sustainable to me at all.
I am here to hold a completely different paradigm…
A paradigm of unshaming your Humanity.
A paradigm where your Body is a Doorway.
And for many of us (especially survivors of early, intense, ancestral trauma and abuse) that doorway is always open. Wide open.
For me, this wide open Doorway means I can walk on the edge of the Bodyverse, the Liminal Space. I can easily tap into the larger fields of Resonance, I can draw on the Life energy from Nature itself. I can gather and hold spaces of enormous healing capacity. I can hold space of Deep Primordial Time.
So you see, “healing“ is not about doing a little bit more EMDR, a little bit more breathwork, a little bit more acupuncture and talk therapy.
It is not about continuously trying to control, regulate and bring the nervous system back into “the window of tolerance”.
No.
Your trauma, pain, difficulty is a web that includes you. It doesn’t belong to you.
It is a relational dance with the Breath of Life, and with the discomfort.
The alchemy of friction.
An unconsensual opening to both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’, the human and the non-human.
Your difficulty is not the problem.
Your difficulty is the solution.
We just need to listen.
And you know what, the desire to be fixed needs to be un-shamed as well!
Because it is only human. 💁♀️
