Before we begin: everything I share in this letter is deeply felt and embodied. You might want to read it small doable bits? Maybe even save it for later? Maybe takes some of the questions into your practice?

Once upon a time… In a far far away land… There was a little girl. A girl that was weird according to the normalcy standards. A girl that felt deeply. A girl that didn’t really fit in because she was different. A girl that loved hanging out in liminal spaces. A girl that came from a long line of healers and medicine women. A girl for whom feeling, receiving information and guidance from the Spirit, holding spaces of healing and resonance always came very naturally.

A girl that learnt very soon that that was not safe to show this side of her to the World. She learnt how to adjust, blend in, how to not be that different, how to not have a Self…

Spoiler alert: That girl was me. 

And so I went out and had a “proper” career, working in corporate for 16 years, working my way up the ladder to becoming a managing director and a board member of an international company. In the state of full fawning and frozen dissociation…

Long story short, six years ago the conditions were created for my frozen Self to start thawing… And I went on a path of expanding into my personal Blueprint. A part of this path was taking different trainings and working with different mentors and coaches around healing and different modalities of it.

And even there I learnt that: 

• There is an override of Self that needs to happen to get to the reality of the Other (= parts of me as a practitioner must stay frozen)
• I should stay attuned to my clients at all times, during the sessions and even between (= hyper-arousal of the system)
  I should remember every detail my clients share with me, because they pay me for my attention and this is how I show I care (= hyper-arousal and override)
• I am not a healer, nor could I possibly ever be, because healers are a scam. Nobody can heal anybody. It is everyone’s personal and individual responsibility to heal themselves. Their trauma and difficulty is their personal responsibility. This is actually a conversation for another time. (= healthism, suppression and oppression)
• I am in this work not for money, but for fulfilment (many practitioners I know, feel stuck in the “starving artist” archetype. I know this place very well too). Again, a whole other conversation. To be continued…

In other words: there was only one right way to be a good practitioner. And to be able to fit into that mould of rules and expectations, many parts must be and stay frozen…

…And freeze is so taxing on your system… Of course, you feel depleted. Of course, you experience tension or maybe even chronic issues. Of course, there is doubt and lack of focus. Of course, it’s hard to generate steady income. It makes so much sense that you feel the way you feel!

Melting through all these layers, coming in coherence with who you truly are, showing up as Self in this World grounded in your embodied capacity, interconnected with Others and Nature, knowing your worth and blind spots, forming a Coven around you that will cheer for you no matter what, is scary as f*ck! And also the very purpose of being alive, if you ask me.

Your most potent medicine is most of the times also the most hidden (frozen) one.

Something that’s very well protected. Sometimes even unreachable and inaccessible, way outside of our awareness.

If you feel, sense, tune in into the deepest depths of your being, what feels like it’s not allowed to be there?

What parts of you have been banished into the Freeze-realms?  
What would happen if you would be allowed to have a Self? In life and in your work as a practitioner.

What would happen if you would be allowed to have your whole emotional Body while being a practitioner?  

How would you feel without over-holding, burning-out, or feeling depleted?

How would you feel with more ease, flow, support, and resource (including finances)?

What kind of practitioner are you?

I don’t have any answers or solutions for you, because, you don’t have any problems to begin with!

What I do have, is a skill of creating and holding space in a way that elicits your own wisdom and medicine and amplifies it. Space that connects you to your felt sense and information access from the field. Space of new possibilities, and choice. Space where you can take aligned action for the optimal outcome. Space where your reality and Body starts to fill up and find personal and relational coherence.

This is a kind of practitioner I am coming to be: I am BOTH a feeler, a healer, a Liminal Space guide, a Body-whisperer, a Soul-retriever, AND a sharp rational thinker and a modern human who enjoys earning good money for a high-quality service.

Thawing through the frozen parts and stepping into suppressed Self as a healer and a mentor allowed me to create my Practitioner Training (with students that are already asking “When is the second round?”). And now this Practitioner Training is metamorphing into it’s next evolution – the Bodyverse Mentorship Program – a 6-month hybrid (1on1 and group) mentorship program that will transform you in a super feeler and a sought-after practitioner. 

If you are ready to stretch beyond your capacity in a regenerative way, heal that sh*t that’s holding you deep frozen, and amplify your impact through your work as a practitioner, I’m here for it. Let’s talk!